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Department for Unresolved Concerns

Procedure note

How the transfer works

The Worry Office does not resolve matters. It accepts them, formally and once, so that you may attend to other business.

  1. 1. Submit one routine worry

    Complete Form WO-1 for yourself or a friend. Keep it brief and avoid names, addresses, medical information or other sensitive details.

  2. 2. Pay the £2.99 opening administrative fee

    One payment, once. The same fee applies whether the transfer is for you or a friend.

  3. 3. The Office registers, assigns and files the matter

    Your worry is allocated a case reference and assigned to the appropriate department, where it is filed with unnecessary seriousness.

  4. 4. You receive official confirmation

    Confirmation that the transfer has been accepted arrives as a personalised digital certificate by email. Consider it no longer your department.

Outside the Office's jurisdiction

Emergencies, medical matters, legal proceedings, serious financial difficulties and safeguarding concerns cannot be accepted. These are screened out before payment.

A personalised digital novelty for adults. Not therapy, advice or an emergency service.

The Office exerts no influence over outcomes and offers no advice. It is a novelty service for adults, provided in writing, with a straight face.

Transfer My Worry — £2.99